A couple weeks, I was invited to a belated 40th Wedding Anniversary at the Zenders Cafe and Event, Waikato. It was just a small family and several Deaf friends gathering.

 Photo for the blog: permission granted with Bob and Jane and J Masters’ picture. Copyrights.

First of all, the Deaf couple – Bob and Jane (names are fiction) made their life journey throughout many years. Plenty of ups and downs such as struggle, squabble at each other, looking after each other when one of them has ill health and the best of all is to love each other.

There were no children of their own in the family, BUT they do have many nephews, nieces, cousins, great nephews and great nieces in the family. Bob’s nephew and his family live up the road from us in Eureka, Waikato. Jane’s sister and her family live outside Morrinsville, pass our home which is approximately 30 minutes.

Bob and Jane went to the same school – Titirangi Deaf School from the 1950s and Kelston School for the Deaf (now called Kelston Deaf Education Centre) from 1960s. Yes, they were childhood sweetheart from the beginning to the present. First of all, they were oral at schools until they learn to sign languages outside the school environments like at the Deaf Clubs, Bowling Clubs and Sports Clubs. Today they are using two languages – Oral and signing but they are not good at lip readings. Only around 35% or less than 30% of accurate lip reading when hearing people are talking to any Deaf people and Deaf people found it hard to pick up what hearing people are talking.

Bob came from a large family, and he has got two Deaf brothers and several Deaf cousins as well. In Bob’s family, there are Deaf genetic carriers. Bob’s hearing niece is a deaf genetic carrier because her son is deaf and now he is wearing a cochlear implant. He does not sign basely on his own choice to speak.   Jane is the only deaf person in her family.

I visited Bob and Jane a week before their actual wedding anniversary, and Jane showed me her text message from her sister about their wedding anniversary. I explained to Bob and Jane if they want to celebrate their style with their family and friends on an actual day. BUT time was running late because it was 5 days to prepare or leave to another week or so. They did not understand the meaning of any wedding anniversary like Golden Wedding, Paper Wedding, Silver Wedding or Sapphire Wedding and the list go on. No one taught them about the special meaning at all, and it was my turn to explain.

Bob and Jane went ahead to have a week later after discussing with Jane’s sister. I emailed to Jane’s sister and it is always a problem that many Deaf people left the planning too late, but they are learning from the mistake.

On the event of Bob and Jane’s Belated Ruby Wedding anniversary, they went in their style by wearing red colours. Two of Jane’s family members made the cake, and it was so fabulous. There were touches of laughter, tears and happy memories.

 Photo copyrights. J Masters.